Long Blue Line: Based on a True Story by E. McNew

Author:E. McNew [McNew, E.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: McNew Publishing, Unlimited
Published: 2014-09-29T05:00:00+00:00

Chapter 41

Another three weeks went by, and I still had not heard anything from my Public Defender about getting me out of jail and into a rehab facility. At that point I had no desire to use drugs and, as dumb as I could be at times, there was no way that I would ever use them while pregnant. I never understood how a woman could even have the desire to use drugs knowing that she was pregnant. When I quit smoking, it sucked, but I wanted to because I was afraid of harming my baby. I wanted to be anywhere but in jail, but from other women’s stories of going to this particular facility, it honestly sounded like heaven. Having to wake up at 6:00 in the morning to do a meditation session for thirty days sounded totally miserable. A pillow and a regular bed, regular food, and something to drink besides a carton of milk, sounded like heaven. I was desperate to get out of jail. I began calling and nagging my Public Defender every day. She was usually busy, so I had to leave a message with her assistant.

Once a week on Thursday nights the jail offered an outreach meeting for inmates who had been sentenced to jail more than once. At first I thought it would be nothing but a bunch of nagging women talking about their problems. I already had enough of my own to deal with. However, I noticed that if I stayed busy the time went by a lot faster. While I was waiting for news from my Lawyer, I tried to stay as busy as possible. The restlessness and anxiety was just about killing me. I liked Janet, the leader of the group. She was older and an ex-addict with time spent in prison. At one point she had been in the very jail we were sitting in. She was able to recover and told us that part of her recovery was to help other people who were in similar situations. She was really laid back and let everyone have a chance to talk.

I told her about how I was trying to get out of the jail and into the rehab facility. I didn’t know what the holdup was and I told her I was getting nervous because I was almost six months pregnant. “Elizabeth, I’ll call SRR for you. I work for them part-time so I might be able to help you get over there.” I was so happy that I had someone who would actually help me. I was not used to other adults, especially community role models, giving me any kind of civilized treatment. I had a feeling that Janet would be back in the next day or so to help get me to the recovery center. I was wrong. She showed up about an hour later, ready to get me “the hell out of there.” She even said it in exactly those words.

An officer came to do a quick inspection of my cell and make sure that I had cleaned my area for the next inmate.

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